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October 27, 2015 By STARS

STARS Bullying Prevention Month

October is Bullying Prevention month, focusing on groups across the country committed to putting an end to bullying, relaying information aimed to bring awareness as well as to provide prevention resources.
October serves as a reminder that bullying is an issue entire communities must address. One valuable way to do that is to educate ourselves and our communities, and be aware of the resources available. STARS has been solution-focused on this issue for over 20 years. Here are some valuable program resources we would like to share with you.

KOTBKids on the Block (KOB): Our program educates children and the broader community about challenges and important issues that affect their lives, reaching nearly 40,000 children and adults in schools and community agencies across Tennessee counties.
“Kids on the Block tailors its bullying prevention programs to fit the needs of the age group. KOB starts talking to Kindergarteners about teasing and name calling and how words can hurt. With 1st graders, we talk about self-control and problem solving, helping them to see that there’s more than one way to solve a problem. With 2nd graders, we talk about differences and how we are all different and that should be celebrated and not used to hurt. With older elementary students, we try to help them distinguish between bullying and conflicts. We also work to empower bystanders encouraging them to be “standbyers” – someone who will go and stand to support kids who are getting bullied or harmed in anyway.” – Melanie Scott, Program Director of Kids on the Block

SAPStudent Assistance Program (SAP): Our nationally recognized, evidence-based program provides counselors in Middle and High Schools to help students address issues such as bullying. SAP has been recognized by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices (NREPP) as one of three evidence-based practices to address intervention services for youth ages 6 to 18.
“Each of the schools we serve has different needs; our Student Assistance Program works closely with the individual school administrators and faculty on how to help spread awareness of bullying and to advocate for bullying prevention within the school. Our Student Assistance Program also works closely with other STARS programs like MOVE2STAND and Kids on the Block to meet the needs of the individual students. Our counselors work individually with students who have been bullied by providing them a supportive place where they can address their feelings and process their hurt. The SAP counselors will also help the young person to set boundaries for themselves and work on assertive communication. For the persons’ that bully, the SAP counselor works to show them how their behavior affects others and works to focus on the personal experiences that have lead them to bullying behavior.” – Kay Higgs, Student Assistance Program Team Leader/Trainer
To see a list of the schools we are currently in, click here.

YODAYouth Overcoming Drug Abuse (YODA): We believe people can recover and we do not give up. YODA provides an intensive outpatient program for adolescents with drug and substance use disorders and co-occurring disorders. While the program does not focus on bullying prevention, we try to meet our kids where they are.
“The reasons why people use drugs are pretty simple: It feels good. Another reason people use drugs is to feel better. Kids get high to deal with poverty, abuse, co-occurring disorders, bullying… all of that. If we can teach them other ways to cope, we’ve done our job and hopefully interrupted the progression towards addiction.” – Lisa Bell, Director of Clinical Services

M2SMOVE2STAND (M2S): M2S is an interactive training program to challenge students to examine their attitudes toward bullying. This one-day youth summit creates empathy and helps young leaders understand how bullying impacts school climate and communities. Additionally, it motivates the students to be the change in their school and to create a positive and inclusive school climate.
“M2S challenges every person in the room to get outside their comfort zone by physically moving and standing beside a person who needs that additional support. It allows bystanders to recognize the harmful effects of bullying and harassment while also teaching them low risk strategies to effectively support students who are getting bullied…M2S gives hope to those who have none.” – Eric Johnson, VP of Youth Development, Program Director of MOVE2STAND
To find out how to bring a training to your school, please contact us.

SSWDHHServices for Students who are Deaf and Hard of Hearing(DHH): Students who are deaf or hard-of-hearing have increased difficulties with communication, isolation, depression, learning and family connections. Our award-winning services have received national and local attention because of the support it provides. From after-school services to in-home services, the program helps Deaf and Hard of Hearing students who may be at a higher risk of being targeted or bullied in their schools.
“We address bullying in a variety of different ways; one of our projects consists of the students creating a video where they address bullying as one of the topics; when they see it done to others, when it is done to them, how it makes them feel, etc. We also address bullying in the daily activities and teachings that we do with our students.” – Laura Lekowicz-Ballard, Program Director of Services for Students who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing
To learn more about STARS follow us online:
Twitter: @STARSNASH
Facebook: /STARSNASH
Youtube:/STARSNASHVILLE

Filed Under: Awareness, Bullying Prevention

April 29, 2015 By Rodger Dinwiddie Leave a Comment

The Stigma about Alcoholism – Alcohol Awareness Month

It’s been three decades since I attended a training offered by Operation Community Awareness Nashville (CAN). That training and one shortly thereafter provided by STARS, (an organization that I only had heard about at the time), changed my life. So much so that I began my own recovery from the impact of addiction, and have been working in the field of prevention, intervention, and now treatment, for the last 30 years.

Three decades later with the all the medical advances and knowledge about addiction so prevalent in our culture, the stigma about alcoholism and drug dependency in the family still exists. This is especially true if you are a child or adolescent living in a family impacted by the disease of addiction. Ask yourself these six questions:

  • Have you ever thought that one of your parents had a drinking problem?
  • Did you ever encourage one of your parents to quit drinking?
  • Did you ever argue or fight with a parent when he or she was drinking?
  • Have you ever heard your parents fight when one of them was drunk?
  • Did you ever feel like hiding or emptying a parent’s bottle of liquor? (Or you choose the substance)
  • Did you ever wish that a parent would stop drinking?

If you responded YES to 3 or more of the questions, it is highly likely that you are a child of an alcoholic.  (Note: These questions are a subsample of the questions appearing on the Children of Alcoholics Screening Test, developed by Jones and Pilat, and have ben rigorously tested.)

April is Alcohol Awareness month.

It’s a time to focus on the families that are impacted by alcoholism; and for over 30 years STARS has been working to alleviate the shame and stigma about this family disease.

Did you know:

  • That according to the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, more than 28 million Americans are children of alcoholics; nearly 8.3 million are under the age of 18.
  • That an estimated 12 percent of children in the United States live with a parent who is dependent on or abuses alcohol or other drugs? Alcoholism and other drug addiction tend to run in families. Children of addicted parents are more at risk for alcoholism and other drug abuse than are other children.
  • That children growing up in families impacted by substance abuse are the highest risk group of children to become alcohol and drug abusers due to both genetic and family environment factors? And that they are also at a higher risk for emotional disturbance, neglect and abuse.  Also, that the biological children of alcohol dependent parents who have been adopted continue to have an increased risk (2-9 fold) of developing alcoholism? (National Association for Children of Alcoholics)
  • That one in four adolescents who start using alcohol and other drugs under the age of 15 end up developing abuse or dependence problems and do not stop until they have gone to treatment 3-4 times over several years?”  (National Institute on Drug Abuse)

The costs to families, our culture, and, most importantly to the young people impacted by this disease are staggering, economically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically.

Breaking the shame that goes along with the admission that there is the proverbial “elephant in the room” can be painful, disrupting, chaotic, unnerving, humbling as well as restorative, hopeful and healing. Thank goodness that today, for so many children and adolescents, the cycle of silence and shame is being broken. Whether through the work of Kids on the Block, school-based STARS Student Assistance and Deaf and Hard of Hearing services, or YODA’s intensive outpatient treatment services, the stigma of substance abuse and dependency is being broken.

When STARS began in Nashville in 1984 our mission was to help prevent substance abuse among adolescents, to support children of addiction, and walk alongside those adolescents that had already experienced treatment for this disease. Those services are still thriving today and we are fortunate to have been able to add these additional approaches to help young people and their families find the hope, strength, and ability to heal and recover.

Without the support of this community none of this would be possible. For more information about how the many programs and services of STARS might be able to support your school, faith community, or family, please visit our website. For information about how you can support STARS, please visit our website or call us at 615-279-0058. STARS will forever be about providing support to families impacted by addiction, breaking the code of silence and shame that too many are living with, unnecessarily. Help break the cycle this month!

Filed Under: Awareness, What's Happening Now

April 20, 2015 By STARS Leave a Comment

Tips for Child Disclosures: Dos & Don’ts

Over 800,000 children are confirmed as victims of abuse or neglect each year in the United States. Neglect is the most common form of child maltreatment, followed by physical abuse. Perpetrators are often family members, friends, and acquaintances. In fact, 95% of all victims know their perpetrators.

childabusestats

Since 1981, our Kids on the Block program has been serving Middle Tennessee with the mission to educate children, as well as adults, about health and social issues that affect people every day. Kids on the Block uses several tools to help raise awareness by providing an interactive, educational puppetry program for children in elementary and middle schools.

Our Child Abuse Prevention program is licensed through the Tennessee Department of Children’s Services and can be modified for grades K-4th. The program teaches children the facts about child abuse, stressing the point that child abuse is never a kid’s fault and that it is okay to talk about it.  As we’ve stressed before in our Tips to Teach Children How to Respect and Accept Differences, we understand everyone doesn’t have access to our program so two of our puppets, Stephen Arthurs and Sabrina Johnson, are here with helpful tips on Listening to Children for reports of abuse physical, or sexual.

Stephen Arthurs Hey Guys! My name is Stephen Arthurs. My mom had a problem. She used  to hit me and hurt me a lot because she didn’t know what to do when she  was angry. That’s called physical abuse. But guess what? I found out I’m a  really good kid and what my mom did to me was NOT my fault. I’m here  to help you too!

 

 

 

(2) SabrinaJohnston

 Hi! I’m Sabrina Johnston and what happened to me is called child sexual  abuse. I found out that what happened to me was NOT my fault and it is  OKAY to tell, even if you are told not to.  Stephen and I have come up with  some Dos and Don’ts when listening to a child disclose.

 

 

Listening Dos & Don’ts

DO

Remain calm and composed. Children can mistake or interpret anger or disgust as directed towards them. It is important to remember that you are not angry with them, but at what happened, so remain calm and composed.

Believe the child. The majority of children do not lie about abuse. Let the child know you believe them and want to get them help.

Explain it’s not their fault. Make sure the child knows it is in no way their fault.

Give positive messages. Reinforce how proud you are of the child for telling you. Reassure them with positive reinforcements such as, “I know you couldn’t help what happened.”

Answer honestly. Listen and answer the child’s questions honestly. This may be tough but it is important that you do.

Respect the child’s privacy. Let the child know you will respect their confidentiality by not discussing the abuse except to those directly involved in the legal process. Do not discuss the abuse in front of people who do not need to know what happened. Do not push the child to give details, instead leave that to the professionals, they will know how to handle it.

Keep a stable environment. Although the child has been through a traumatic experience, do not change the rules for them. The most important thing they need right now is stability.

Report to the Department of Children’s Service. As an adult, it is your duty to report the incident. Tennessee law requires that any person who knows, or has reason to suspect, that a child has been abused must report it to local law enforcement authorities or to the Department of Children Services. Suspicion leads to reporting. Reporting it does not mean that you are certain that abuse has occurred. Reporting abuse or suspected abuse is a request for professionals to investigate further.

To report suspicion or an incident call: 877-237-004

DON’T:

Do not overreact or panic. When discussing the experience with the child, do not let your emotions get the best of you. It is important for you to remain calm and composed, children need help and support to make it through this difficult time.

Do not pressure for details. Do not pressure the child to talk and do not avoid talking about the abuse. Let the child talk at his or her own pace; forcing information can be harmful.

Do not confront the offender. Leave this task to the authorities. It is your job to be a support system for the child.

Do not blame the child. Never, ever blame the child. Abuse is never the child’s fault.

Signs of Disclosure

Less often do children come to you in private and tell you specifically what is going on, which is why it is important to know the signs of a disclosure when they do happen. One of the more common ways children disclose is through indirect hints.

For example, “My babysitter keeps bothering me,” or “Mr. Jones wears funny underwear.”

Usually a child uses this form of hinting because he or she hasn’t learned the specific vocabulary. He/she may feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it directly; or the child has promised not to tell. Sometimes it is a combination of these reasons. If you notice this behavior, gently encourage the child to be more specific. It is important to bear in mind the limits of his or her vocabulary; he or she might not be able to explain exactly what is happening.

Additionally, children will disguise the disclosure.

For example, “I know someone who is being touched in a bad way” or “What would happen if a girl told her mother she was being molested but her mother didn’t believe her?”

The child might be talking about a friend or sibling, but it is just as likely they are talking about themselves. Encourage the child to tell you what they know about the “other child.”

Often the offender uses threats to force a child to remain silent, so the child will disclose with strings attached.

For example, “I have a problem but if I tell you about it you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

When this happens it is important to let the child know it is not their fault. Tell the child you believe them and want to get them help. In order to do so, you need to make a confidential report to safe grown-ups who can help. You will respect their need for confidentiality so you will not discuss the abuse with anyone except to those directly involved in the legal process.

Another sign to watch for is if a child has explicit knowledge beyond their years.

 For example, a child talks about the appearance of body parts, how they taste, smell, or feel.

These can be indicators something else is going on. Be sure to gently ask the child more questions.

As parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and adults, it’s our responsibility to protect children. For more information, or if you would like to attend a Stewards of Children training or bring one to your workplace, school, church, group, etc., please contact Melanie Scott for more details.

Additional Helpful Resources

Here are some great books for kids about child abuse as well as great resources for adults!

For Children

A Touching Book

A Very Touching Book…for little people and for big people 

Something Happened

Something Happened and I’m Afraid To Tell 

For Adults

Keeping Kids Safe

Keeping Kids Safe: A Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Manual

Filed Under: Awareness, Kids on the Block, What's Happening Now

March 23, 2015 By Denise D. Bentley Leave a Comment

The only time I saw white people…

I’m a native of Nashville.

In fact, there aren’t many folks as Nashville as I am.  And, I live in the house near Tennessee State University in which I was raised.

When I was a little girl, the only place I saw white people was down town, except for the insurance man who came to the house to collect the payments.

Going downtown to shop for Easter was one of the highlights of the year.  My mother and I would go to Cain Sloan, at 5th and Church near what we now know as the Main Public Library or Castner Knott at the corner of 6th and Church. We would go to Levy’s or Petway Revis to choose a tie for my dad.

But one year, we didn’t go downtown.  It was near Easter in 1960. The black community boycotted downtown.  No Easter outfit for boys or girls, men or women.  No new patent leather shoes.  No new Easter bonnets or gloves.  No snappy Fedoras for the fellows.  We let Easter pass without one nod to fashion.  If we couldn’t sit at a lunch counter at Kress’s or Cain Sloan, we wouldn’t purchase anything in that store or any other store downtown, for that matter.  By May the lunch counters provided service to everyone.

September 1971 was the first time I ever went to school with a white person.  It was my freshman year in college – in the north, of course.  I didn’t realize that racism had many faces and the some of those faces were Northern.

In the years since college, I lived many places, in the U.S. and abroad. And I always come home – to Nashville.  And, the most rapid changes happened over the last 15-20 years.

Nashville was always a black and white city.  However, in the past few years, Nashville has become a city of brown and yellow and beige with languages from the Near East, the Far East, south of the boarder and the east coast of Africa.  There’s an Ethiopian restaurant in the Arcade right down from the Mr. Peanut store.  My mom and I would buy peanuts and candy at the store where a giant Mr. Peanut greeted us after a day of shopping.

You can hear eighty different languages are spoken at one high school in Nashville.  My office is located downtown.  When the weather is fine and everyone is out and about, you can hear French, German and Australian accents.  You can hear people speaking the languages of India, China, and Saudi Arabia along with accents from Boston and New York City.

If I’m near Hume Fogg High School as dismisses, I see rainbows of kids flowing through the doors. One is my cousin, Miles.  And, I wonder what changes he will see during his lifetime as he leaves and returns to Nashville.

So many changes.  Our charge to fight against racism is changing.  Although a young black man with good grades can be admitted to Vanderbilt, there are teachers who fear black boys.  Although I can live anywhere I want to in Nashville, I am penalized by low property values because I choose to live in the neighborhood I love.  My neighbor’s daughter is gorgeous. She is tall, but young enough to still have a boyish frame.  She makes sure her hoodie is down and her hands are clearly visible when she walks across the Wal-Mart parking lot to meet her dad at Lowes.

It’s good that we acknowledge our past while building a welcoming, thriving and progressive Nashville.  Meanwhile, we still duty to continue to end racism, even and especially when it may disguise itself as something else.

Denise D. Bentley

Fisk University, BA

Vanderbilt University School of Law, JD

Director, Tennessee Youth Court Programs, an initiative of the Tennessee Bar Association


About the Author

Denise Bentley, a native of Nashville, holds a bachelor’s degree from Fisk University and a Juris Doctorate from Vanderbilt University School of Law.

Ms. Bentley is the Director of the Tennessee Youth Court Program, an initiative of the Tennessee Bar Association (TBA).  Prior to taking her position with the TBA, she was the violence prevention coordinator for the Metropolitan Nashville Public Schools (MNPS), 2003-2010.  While at MNPS, Bentley became a certified Olweus Bullying Prevention trainer. Preceding her tenure at MNPS, Ms. Bentley was the project director for the Mills Corporation’s Nashville Jobs Partnership.

After law school, Ms. Bentley served in a judicial clerkship with the Hon. Matthew J. Sweeney, III, and later became a member of the faculty of the University of Tennessee Knoxville College of Business Administration.

 

Filed Under: Awareness, What's Happening Now

March 23, 2015 By STARS Leave a Comment

Tips to Help Kids Respect and Accept Diversity

Tips To Help Kids Respect and Accept Diversity

Teaching kids to respect and accept diversity can be a challenge. Our Kids on the Block program has made it one of our top priorities and we have become experts at it! Through the art of puppetry, our educational specialists are able to connect with audiences about important, and sometimes difficult, topics. We understand that not everyone will have the opportunity to benefit from our program, which is why Salimah is here with some helpful tips.

(1) SalmaRHi there! My name is Salimah Rahman, I’m 11 years old and I am so proud to be a Muslim and an American. One of my favorite things to do is share about my rich culture and help my friends understand the importance of avoiding prejudiced thinking. It can be tough sometimes to explain, so I’m here to help with some tips!

 

 

 

  1. Differences Are Not A Bad Thing – One of the most important lessons in regards to respecting and accepting diversity is we all may appear to be different on the outside, but we are all made up of the same things in the inside. It doesn’t matter if we are an adult or a kid, we all have feelings that can get hurt when we are teased, insulted, or hurt. Helping your child understand that we all have feelings and we all have differences is the cornerstone in guiding our kids to respect and accept diversity.

“What makes you different, makes you beautiful.”

  1. Embrace Your Differences – Our differences are what make us unique. Let your child know that what sets them apart is something to be proud of and embrace! If your child is being made fun for any reason (their name, beliefs, family arrangement, or physical differences) talk to them about it. Reassure them they are loved and beautiful.

“You can’t control what people think or what they say, what you can control is the way you react to them.”

  1. Use It As A Learning Opportunity –When your child comes home with a question about someone or something they saw but you don’t know the answer don’t be afraid to tell them. Use it as a learning opportunity for both of you. For example, if your child asks about someone who says they have cerebral palsy (CP), you might not know that in some cases their speech is slowed due to a stiffness in their muscles. So, take this opportunity to learn together!
  • I don’t know, but we’ll both find out together!
  • Research the topic together – go online, visit your local library, do your research!
  • Discuss what you’ve learned.
  • Important note: Answering tough questions like, “What’s wrong with them?” can be difficult. A great way to respond to questions like this is, “I don’t think you mean to say what’s wrong with them, you just want to know why they are different from you. Well, he has CP, which stands for cerebral palsy. I don’t know very much about CP but let’s find out together!”
  1. Set A Good Example – Be mindful of jokes, slurs, implications, and your attitude towards others. Often, children repeat what they hear from their friends and family members even if they don’t understand or know what it means. It is important to confront discriminatory behavior when it happens. Avoiding or ignoring the incident will not make it go away. In fact, it can be interpreted as unspoken approval.
  2. Reframe – If your child is making prejudicial comments, sometimes the best way to handle the situation is to rephrase it. Take this situation for example:

Billy is at the mall with his mom and sees a man walk by wearing a turban.

Billy: Mom, that man looks funny!

Mom: Why do you think he looks funny?

Billy: He’s wearing a sheet on his head. That’s silly!

Mom: I think you mean you don’t know what it is. That doesn’t mean it’s silly. It’s just different from what you’ve seen. It’s called a turban.

Billy: A tur—ban? What?

Mom: That’s what it is called. A lot of people wear turbans. Turbans are typically worn as a customary headwear (just like you wear caps!). Sometimes it is used for religious reasons, nobility, and sometimes people wear them when they are sick. There are lots of reasons!

Billy: Hmm. That’s neat. Why don’t I have one?

  1. Know How To Identify Stereotypes, Prejudices, and Discrimination and How to Eliminate the Cycle – It’s okay to notice differences. All of us, in some shape or form, have differences that set us apart. There isn’t anything wrong with noticing differences, what we want to be wary of is forming stereotypes that can lead to hurtful prejudices and discrimination. As we explained earlier, we all have differences in one way or another, our differences are what make us special. Here is a great graphic that demonstrates the powerful cycle. Bullying Cycle_STARS“Think about the word prejudice- it comes from pre and judge. Pre meaning before and judge meaning to make up your mind. It’s making up your mind about someone before you get to know them.”
  1. Do Not Use The Words “Gay” Or “Retarded”
    • Here are few phrases you should teach your child not to say – “That’s so gay,” “Wow, how retarded.” Instead, teach your child to use words that describe how they are feeling such as absurd, foolish, ridiculous, and ludicrous. Use these opportunities to help teach your child new words they can use to expand their vocabulary. Using insensitive words and phrases hurt not only individuals but their family and friends.
    • Remember some people have intellectual disabilities. While retardation is not a bad word, when used to describe someone or something you think is bad or stupid it becomes another thoughtless hurtful word. So, please stop using the word “retarded.” It hurts individuals and families of those with intellectual disabilities.

Sometimes we forget we live in a world made up differences; whether language, religion, appearance, beliefs, or our general likes and dislikes, differences are what set us apart. Let’s teach our kids to be respectful and accepting of the people around us!

Want To Know More About the Puppets?

Visit our Meet the Puppets page to learn more.

If you would like the puppets to visit your school, contact us here.

Filed Under: Awareness, Bullying Prevention, Kids on the Block, What's Happening Now

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