Bullying Prevention Archives

October 27, 2015 By STARS

STARS Bullying Prevention Month

October is Bullying Prevention month, focusing on groups across the country committed to putting an end to bullying, relaying information aimed to bring awareness as well as to provide prevention resources.
October serves as a reminder that bullying is an issue entire communities must address. One valuable way to do that is to educate ourselves and our communities, and be aware of the resources available. STARS has been solution-focused on this issue for over 20 years. Here are some valuable program resources we would like to share with you.

Kids on the Block (KOB): Our program educates children and the broader community about challenges and important issues that affect their lives, reaching nearly 40,000 children and adults in schools and community agencies across Tennessee counties.
“Kids on the Block tailors its bullying prevention programs to fit the needs of the age group. KOB starts talking to Kindergarteners about teasing and name calling and how words can hurt. With 1st graders, we talk about self-control and problem solving, helping them to see that there’s more than one way to solve a problem. With 2nd graders, we talk about differences and how we are all different and that should be celebrated and not used to hurt. With older elementary students, we try to help them distinguish between bullying and conflicts. We also work to empower bystanders encouraging them to be “standbyers” – someone who will go and stand to support kids who are getting bullied or harmed in anyway.” – Melanie Scott, Program Director of Kids on the Block

Student Assistance Program (SAP): Our nationally recognized, evidence-based program provides counselors in Middle and High Schools to help students address issues such as bullying. SAP has been recognized by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices (NREPP) as one of three evidence-based practices to address intervention services for youth ages 6 to 18.
“Each of the schools we serve has different needs; our Student Assistance Program works closely with the individual school administrators and faculty on how to help spread awareness of bullying and to advocate for bullying prevention within the school. Our Student Assistance Program also works closely with other STARS programs like MOVE2STAND and Kids on the Block to meet the needs of the individual students. Our counselors work individually with students who have been bullied by providing them a supportive place where they can address their feelings and process their hurt. The SAP counselors will also help the young person to set boundaries for themselves and work on assertive communication. For the persons’ that bully, the SAP counselor works to show them how their behavior affects others and works to focus on the personal experiences that have lead them to bullying behavior.” – Kay Higgs, Student Assistance Program Team Leader/Trainer
To see a list of the schools we are currently in, click here.

Youth Overcoming Drug Abuse (YODA): We believe people can recover and we do not give up. YODA provides an intensive outpatient program for adolescents with drug and substance use disorders and co-occurring disorders. While the program does not focus on bullying prevention, we try to meet our kids where they are.
“The reasons why people use drugs are pretty simple: It feels good. Another reason people use drugs is to feel better. Kids get high to deal with poverty, abuse, co-occurring disorders, bullying… all of that. If we can teach them other ways to cope, we’ve done our job and hopefully interrupted the progression towards addiction.” – Lisa Bell, Director of Clinical Services

MOVE2STAND (M2S): M2S is an interactive training program to challenge students to examine their attitudes toward bullying. This one-day youth summit creates empathy and helps young leaders understand how bullying impacts school climate and communities. Additionally, it motivates the students to be the change in their school and to create a positive and inclusive school climate.
“M2S challenges every person in the room to get outside their comfort zone by physically moving and standing beside a person who needs that additional support. It allows bystanders to recognize the harmful effects of bullying and harassment while also teaching them low risk strategies to effectively support students who are getting bullied…M2S gives hope to those who have none.” – Eric Johnson, VP of Youth Development, Program Director of MOVE2STAND
To find out how to bring a training to your school, please contact us.

Services for Students who are Deaf and Hard of Hearing(DHH): Students who are deaf or hard-of-hearing have increased difficulties with communication, isolation, depression, learning and family connections. Our award-winning services have received national and local attention because of the support it provides. From after-school services to in-home services, the program helps Deaf and Hard of Hearing students who may be at a higher risk of being targeted or bullied in their schools.
“We address bullying in a variety of different ways; one of our projects consists of the students creating a video where they address bullying as one of the topics; when they see it done to others, when it is done to them, how it makes them feel, etc. We also address bullying in the daily activities and teachings that we do with our students.” – Laura Lekowicz-Ballard, Program Director of Services for Students who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing
To learn more about STARS follow us online:
Twitter: @STARSNASH
Facebook: /STARSNASH
Youtube:/STARSNASHVILLE

March 23, 2015 By STARS Leave a Comment

Tips to Help Kids Respect and Accept Diversity

Tips To Help Kids Respect and Accept Diversity

Teaching kids to respect and accept diversity can be a challenge. Our Kids on the Block program has made it one of our top priorities and we have become experts at it! Through the art of puppetry, our educational specialists are able to connect with audiences about important, and sometimes difficult, topics. We understand that not everyone will have the opportunity to benefit from our program, which is why Salimah is here with some helpful tips.

Hi there! My name is Salimah Rahman, I’m 11 years old and I am so proud to be a Muslim and an American. One of my favorite things to do is share about my rich culture and help my friends understand the importance of avoiding prejudiced thinking. It can be tough sometimes to explain, so I’m here to help with some tips!

Differences Are Not A Bad Thing – One of the most important lessons in regards to respecting and accepting diversity is we all may appear to be different on the outside, but we are all made up of the same things in the inside. It doesn’t matter if we are an adult or a kid, we all have feelings that can get hurt when we are teased, insulted, or hurt. Helping your child understand that we all have feelings and we all have differences is the cornerstone in guiding our kids to respect and accept diversity.

“What makes you different, makes you beautiful.”

Embrace Your Differences – Our differences are what make us unique. Let your child know that what sets them apart is something to be proud of and embrace! If your child is being made fun for any reason (their name, beliefs, family arrangement, or physical differences) talk to them about it. Reassure them they are loved and beautiful.

“You can’t control what people think or what they say, what you can control is the way you react to them.”

Use It As A Learning Opportunity –When your child comes home with a question about someone or something they saw but you don’t know the answer don’t be afraid to tell them. Use it as a learning opportunity for both of you. For example, if your child asks about someone who says they have cerebral palsy (CP), you might not know that in some cases their speech is slowed due to a stiffness in their muscles. So, take this opportunity to learn together!

I don’t know, but we’ll both find out together!
Research the topic together – go online, visit your local library, do your research!
Discuss what you’ve learned.
Important note: Answering tough questions like, “What’s wrong with them?” can be difficult. A great way to respond to questions like this is, “I don’t think you mean to say what’s wrong with them, you just want to know why they are different from you. Well, he has CP, which stands for cerebral palsy. I don’t know very much about CP but let’s find out together!”

Set A Good Example – Be mindful of jokes, slurs, implications, and your attitude towards others. Often, children repeat what they hear from their friends and family members even if they don’t understand or know what it means. It is important to confront discriminatory behavior when it happens. Avoiding or ignoring the incident will not make it go away. In fact, it can be interpreted as unspoken approval.
Reframe – If your child is making prejudicial comments, sometimes the best way to handle the situation is to rephrase it. Take this situation for example:

Billy is at the mall with his mom and sees a man walk by wearing a turban.

Billy: Mom, that man looks funny!

Mom: Why do you think he looks funny?

Billy: He’s wearing a sheet on his head. That’s silly!

Mom: I think you mean you don’t know what it is. That doesn’t mean it’s silly. It’s just different from what you’ve seen. It’s called a turban.

Billy: A tur—ban? What?

Mom: That’s what it is called. A lot of people wear turbans. Turbans are typically worn as a customary headwear (just like you wear caps!). Sometimes it is used for religious reasons, nobility, and sometimes people wear them when they are sick. There are lots of reasons!

Billy: Hmm. That’s neat. Why don’t I have one?

Know How To Identify Stereotypes, Prejudices, and Discrimination and How to Eliminate the Cycle – It’s okay to notice differences. All of us, in some shape or form, have differences that set us apart. There isn’t anything wrong with noticing differences, what we want to be wary of is forming stereotypes that can lead to hurtful prejudices and discrimination. As we explained earlier, we all have differences in one way or another, our differences are what make us special. Here is a great graphic that demonstrates the powerful cycle. “Think about the word prejudice- it comes from pre and judge. Pre meaning before and judge meaning to make up your mind. It’s making up your mind about someone before you get to know them.”

Do Not Use The Words “Gay” Or “Retarded”
- Here are few phrases you should teach your child not to say – “That’s so gay,” “Wow, how retarded.” Instead, teach your child to use words that describe how they are feeling such as absurd, foolish, ridiculous, and ludicrous. Use these opportunities to help teach your child new words they can use to expand their vocabulary. Using insensitive words and phrases hurt not only individuals but their family and friends.
- Remember some people have intellectual disabilities. While retardation is not a bad word, when used to describe someone or something you think is bad or stupid it becomes another thoughtless hurtful word. So, please stop using the word “retarded.” It hurts individuals and families of those with intellectual disabilities.

Sometimes we forget we live in a world made up differences; whether language, religion, appearance, beliefs, or our general likes and dislikes, differences are what set us apart. Let’s teach our kids to be respectful and accepting of the people around us!

Want To Know More About the Puppets?

Visit our Meet the Puppets page to learn more.

If you would like the puppets to visit your school, contact us here.

March 11, 2015 By Rodger Dinwiddie Leave a Comment

Distinguishing Between Bullying and Discriminatory Harassment

In 1999, there were exactly 0 (zero) state laws in the United States dealing with bullying. Post Columbine, state legislatures began to develop laws and school districts began to implement polices to address the issue of bullying that was now on the public’s radar screen. Now, 16 years later, there are 49 states with laws; all but Montana have anti-bullying laws. More than half of these laws also address cyberbullying.

For the last 7 years the Tennessee Department of Education through the Office of Safe and Supportive Schools, has provided training for school leaders on Tennessee’s laws and best practices to deal with bullying and harassment. I’ve always been interested in the legal complexities schools face in dealing with these tough issues. As a part of my work, I’ve had the privilege of working with some tremendous attorney’s with the Department of Education in joining them as a co-presenter in these sessions entitled From Policy to Practice. The attorneys have covered the law and I have attempted to help school personnel understand and implement best practices to improve school climate and prevent bullying. Under the leadership of General Counsel, Christy Ballard, they have helped schools understand the legal complexities of these challenging issues.

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to participate in additional training designed to help schools address issues to determine appropriate responses to bullying. To start, defining bullying is complex in and of itself. When the issue of legal harassment is added to the conversation the complexity increases.

The Bullying and Harassment Solutions for Schools: A Comprehensive System to Educate, Investigate and Remediate, developed by legal expert, Mary Jo McGrath, is a powerful system for investigating bullying incidences. The system is designed to help schools drill down to the key issues of whether the issue at hand is conflict, bullying and/or harassment.

Throughout the training, Mary Jo reiterated that the same behavior(s) in question may actually violate one or more areas of law:

School administrative law prohibiting bullying or harassment and justifying action under the student code of conduct and board of policy and regulations;
Criminal law (e.g., hate crimes); and
State civil statutes relating to anti-bullying provisions or even negligence; or under civil rights action if protected classification is involved and discrimination is found.

In short, a bullying complaint may come under any or all of these areas of law.

The McGrath system also helps schools understand when they are responsible for addressing bullying situations. Simply, a school is responsible for addressing bullying and harassment incidents about which it knows or reasonably should have known.

Mary Jo quotes Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, “Every adult in the school from principals to custodians, cafeteria workers to teachers must intervene and act when they see bullying for whatever reason.” This is something that the Tennessee Department of Education has been stressing through the Policy to Practice workshops for many years. Everyone in the school must address bullying and harassment.

Schools face some formidable challenges when an act of bullying is reported. Not only does the school need to determine the context in which the act may have occurred, they also must determine if the act is more serious and is a potential civil rights violation, or discriminatory harassment.

Perhaps one of the most important distinctions discussed during the McGrath training is the primary distinguishing factor between bullying and bullying that is discriminatory harassment. If the behavior was targeted toward a member of a protected classification, other issues must be considered. Federally protected classifications include:

Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which prohibits discrimination based on race, color, or national origin as well as including English Language Learners.
Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 prohibits discrimination based on sex, which covers sexual harassment, gender-based harassment, pregnant and parenting students, and athletics. Finally,
Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 prohibits discrimination based on disability.

STARS is now able to offer training for individual school(s) and school districts that would like to go deeper in this challenging conversation. We will be able to offer the McGrath Systems approach to help schools be certain that they are doing all that they can to address the issue of bullying and harassment, implement clear investigative protocols resulting in a more positive school climate for both students, parents and school personnel. For more information about how your school/district can take advantage of this opportunity, contact STARS at 615-279-0058 or email Teresa Whitaker to discuss the possibility.

December 8, 2014 By Amanda Aron Leave a Comment

Stand Up and Start a Movement

Amanda Aron is a senior from Vermilion High School. In October, our MOVE2STAND program visited her high school and she shared her feelings and experience about the program.

Stand Up and Start a Movement by Amanda Aron

On Friday, October 3, MOVE2STAND visited Vermilion High School.

MOVE2STAND is a program run by Student Taking A Right Stand (STARS), an organization committed to serving “schools and communities by providing prevention, intervention and treatment services addressing bullying, substance abuse, violence and social and emotional barriers to success.”

MOVE2STAND is much deeper than your standard anti-bullying program. I am currently a senior in high school and throughout my years at VHS I have sat through many anti-bullying assembles, videos, and surveys. None of these efforts ever seemed to make a noticeable difference. To be completely honest, I looked at all of these assemblies, including MOVE2STAND, as simply a day out of school. However, the experience I had at this leadership training was more intense and rewarding than I anticipated.

Students in grades 8-12 were selected by Vermilion teachers to participate in the program. All students were selected because they were considered to have leadership potential.

On the day of the event, we all walked into the gymnasium expecting a lecture that we have all heard before and videos we have all seen about how bullying is wrong. Little did we know, this program was much more than that. To our surprise, later that day many of the students and even teachers would be crying and opening up to one another about personal struggles with bullying. This program successfully shined a new light on bullying and made it a lot more personal and real.

Many of us have heard about strangers’ issues with bullying, and we’ve sympathized. At Move 2 Stand, seeing classmates crying and hearing their stories about personal struggles with bullying and how it has affected them was a whole new experience for many of us. It was a lasting experience for me.

One of the key things I learned during the program was that many of us wear masks. Masks that cover who we truly are to camouflage us and protect us from being bullied. I have learned that having respect for others will encourage them to take their masks off. Having respect for others relieves people of the daily fears of being judged and bullied for being themselves.

Having respect and love for yourself will help you never feel the need to hide how beautiful you are with a constricting mask in fear of not fitting in.

If children, teenagers, and adults would take the time to reflect on how unique and important they are, build respect for themselves and others, and encourage each other to take off their masks, this world would be a happier and healthier environment for people of all ages.

—Amanda Aron is a senior at Vermilion High School

MOVE2STAND

If you would like to learn more about the MOVE2STAND program, visit their page on our website here.

November 6, 2014 By STARS Leave a Comment

Tips To Help If Your Child Is Being Bullied

I think the hardest part for my dad was not knowing what he could do to help. He called the principal but was quickly dismissed. The principal muttered over the phone, “Unfortunately sir, we can’t do anything to intervene if it happened via the web. You could get the police involved but we can’t do anything for you.” Even today, I meet parents who have asked, “What can we do if our child is being bullied?” This isn’t really knowledge people have until they are going through it. STARS wants to provide families, teachers, and individuals the steps necessary to take when your child or someone you know is being bullied.

As an adult, it is incredibly hard to hear one of our loved ones is being bullied. Whether it is your daughter, niece, grandson, or even your neighbor’s child, it can be unnerving and feel like you have zero control. Your gut reaction might be to jerk your child out of school and your blood might be boiling, so here are a few tips if your child is being bullied:

Focus on your child. Be supportive and gather information.

Throughout the entire process be supportive of his or her feelings.
It is important to find out what is going on, so ask your child for their recollection of the events. In cases when you are not sure if your child is being bullied ask direct questions such as, “Did someone hurt you?” or “Can you tell me exactly what he or she did?” Once you know it has happened, address it immediately.
Find out as much information as you can.

When the bullying happened or where it is happening.
When the bullying happened or where it is happening.
Was there other children or adults who witnessed the bullying?
How did it happen? (GLSEN)

Do not downplay how your child is feeling, acknowledge their feelings and reassure them you know that being targeted can be painful (ADL).
Show empathy. Express bullying is wrong and you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it.
Never encourage retaliation as a solution. This will only make the situation worse and more than likely your child will wind up getting into trouble (GLSEN). The most critical message you want to send is “I love you. I’m here for you. Together, we will find a solution” (Parenting).

Contact his or her teacher or the principal.

Strictly focus on the evidence rather than the emotions when discussing with the school faculty.
Expect the bullying to stop and express to staff you want to work together to find a solution to end the bullying.
Share the what, who, where, when, and how.
After the initial contact, make sure to follow-up to find out how things have progressed.
If the problem continues, or the teacher ignores your concerns, ask to meet with the school counselor or principal. If you are met with resistance, apply pressure until a solution can be found.
Do not contact the parents of the student(s) who bullied your child. This tends to only make the situation worse and can turn into a “he said, she said” argument. (GLSEN)

Help your child become more resilient to bullying from others.

Encourage and help your child meet new friends outside of school. Join after-school activities such as sports teams, school clubs, and non-school related activities such as local theatre group or art program.
Role play situations and teach your child how they can respond to help boost your child’s confidence.
Ensure your child has a safe and loving home to come home to where she or he has the shelter, physically and emotionally to feel safe. Make sure the lines of communication remain open.
Teach your child safety strategies.
How to seek help from an adult when he or she is feeling threatened.
Who to talk to when he or she needs help and rehearse what to say.
Remind them that reporting bullying is not the same as tattling (GLSEN).

Majority of schools have a program specifically designed to raise awareness about bullying and to help parents and teachers effectively resolve any bullying that might occur. The program is designed for the school and parents to work together. Contact your school to find out their plans and procedures.

STARS has a variety of programs that serve different age groups to address prevention, intervention, and the treatment of bullying. Check out the variety of programs we have here.

Are you having a hard time identifying bullying? See the first blog of our October series here. Are you a kid being bullied and need advice? See our tips for kids who are being bullied here.

Resources: