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We need to talk about suicide.

 Did you know that Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for youth ages 10-24?

Source: 2015 CDC WISQARS

More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, COMBINED.

“Each day in our nation, there are over 5,000 suicide attempts by young people grades 7-12.”
Source: The Jason Foundation

These staggering statistics emphasize the importance of talking to your teenagers about suicide.
Know the warning signs and how to have conversations with your teens.

“Four out of Five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs.”
Source: The Jason Foundation

Warning Signs:

  • Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
  • Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
  • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
  • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Acting anxious or agitated
  • Behaving recklessly
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Withdrawing or isolating themselves
  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  • Extreme mood swings

Source: Suicide Prevention Lifeline 

If your child is exhibiting any of the warning signs, it is important to talk to them and point out the behaviors in a non-judgmental way. Do not be afraid to ask, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

If Suicidal Ideation is Present:

  • Options for getting a suicidal assessment:
    • Go to your nearest Emergency Room
    • Go to a mental health treatment center
    • Call Mobile Crisis Services:
      • Youth Villages (866-791-9222)

Important Information for the Home if suicide ideation is present or has been in the past:

  • Remove all sharp objects (knives, scissors, and razors etc.)
    • You may also lock them up instead of removing them if your teenager cannot access them.
  • The suicidal teenager should not be left alone for any reason.

If Suicidal Ideation is Not Present but has been in the Past:

  • Encourage your teenager to talk to a counselor.
  • To find a counselor:
    • The counselors at school, the school social worker, or your pediatrician can give you names of counselors that fit your teenager’s signs and symptoms.

Hotline Numbers to Keep in Mind:

    • Crisis CALL Lines:
      • National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
      • TN Statewide Crisis Line: 855-274-7471
      • Vanderbilt Crisis Line: 615-327-7000
    • Crisis TEXT Lines:
      • Text START to 741-741
      • Centerstone Crisis Text Line: 844-899-TEXT (8398)

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When you improve yourself, you improve your life.

When we think of self-improvement, millions of things pop up into our heads about how we can “fix” ourselves. 

“I need to eat healthier, start working out, meditate, save more money, read more books.”

The list goes on and on. Usually, we begin to feel overwhelmed and stressed by all the things we think we need to do to improve our lives. Maybe you can relate?

Self-improvement is not about “fixing” ourselves.

We are not broken. We are human!  We are constantly learning to navigate life with all the demands we have on us as parents, teachers, caregivers, employees, spouses, friends, and whatever other roles we have at any given moment.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Rohn

So, let life be a time for growth and balance.

Here are a few recommendations:

  • Take some time to sit down and reflect on your current life situation.
    • Ask yourself questions: Where do you feel out of balance? Are you working too much? Not spending enough quality time with family?
    • Maybe you’re taking care of others and not taking the necessary time to care for yourself. Many of us feel at least one area of our life is lacking attention. This could be our physical health, mental or emotional well-being, spirituality, relationships, or career.
  • Pick one area and make a small goal for growth in that area.
    • First, choose an area of growth that is doable and enjoyable. Small changes lead to big results!
    • There tends to be a compounded effect when we make a small change and over time we realize that that one little change has become a habit and has a trickle effect into the rest of the areas of our lives that can truly lead to amazing transformation.
    • If you feel ambitious, pick one area to improve each week.
  • Share your journey of self-improvement with your family, co-workers or group of friends.
    • Involve others in your goals.
  • Write down goals.
    • When we write goals and share them with others who care about us and want us to succeed, we are much more likely to be accountable while being encouraged with loving support.

So, I will start us off my sharing my goal with you:

  • I will be more mindful and present.
    • Strategy is key. I have come up with three simple action steps I will incorporate into my life to help me grow in this area.
      • #1. I will listen to guided meditations at least 4 times a week.
      • #2. I will take some deep breaths while in my car during my commute.
      • #3. I will spend time outdoors daily to connect to nature-with no electronics.

Good luck with your journey and be sure to encourage others on their paths to self-improvement.

Don’t forget to share your journey with us.

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Domestic Violence – Shan Foster

I’m sure many of you watched the Super Bowl this year and are ready for the excitement of the NBA and NHL Playoffs. This is certainly a peak time of year for sports. I recently saw a video of Julian Edelman of the New England Patriots that caught my attention. He remained positive and demonstrated tremendous resilience and perseverance while facing the largest deficit his team had seen all season. No team playing in the Super Bowl had ever come back from a 25-point deficit in the history of the NFL. I was not surprised to see Julian’s positive attitude, but what did amaze me was his choice of words. While still trailing by at least three touchdowns and a field goals to the NFL’s leading offense, Julian told his teammates, “This is going to be one hell of a story.”

Wow! Most people wait until the momentum changes or the score gets a little closer before they outwardly express that kind of belief. But not Julian. This is what he said in what seemed to be defeat.

Watching the game, we all witnessed one of the greatest comebacks in the history of sports. And if we’re honest, most of us didn’t believe what Julian did. We simply didn’t think they could do it.

Like the Patriots, MEND has quite the lofty goal to make Nashville the safest city in the nation for women and girls. And, just like in the Patriots in the first three quarters of Super Bowl LI (or 51), many don’t think we have a chance. Some feel defeated when they look at the big screen and see the numbers.

  • 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime
  • 1 in 5 women will experience sexual abuse before they are 18 years old
  • 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted or raped in college
  • 3 women are killed each day by a man
  • Metro Nashville Police officers respond to a domestic violence call every 20 minutes
  • Tennessee ranks 9th in the nation for the rate at which men kill women

Like Julian, I’m not oblivious to the numbers, but I also can’t ignore what else I see. When I look around Nashville, I see men who are committed to change. I see men who have stepped up to join women to end this violence. I see men who will hold other men accountable. And I see men who believe. Men who believe that violence is a learned behavior that can be changed. Men who believe that women are to be valued and respected. Men who believe that we can teach young men and boys a new definition of manhood. Men who believe in the power of love.

Therefore, in the end, we win. Not just we as men, but we as people. Men and women, boys and girls, together. It won’t happen overnight, just like it didn’t happen in one quarter for the Patriots. If we remain committed, persistent, and believe, then we will see a day when those numbers change. We will see the day when women and girls are not only safe, but valued and respected. We will see the day when men and boys are free from stereotypes and the “boys will be boys” expectation will mean that boys will be respectful, loving, and kind! On that day, we all win! So, let’s #MENDit2Endit!

About the Author

Shan FosterShan Foster, Sr. Director of External Affairs and MEND, YWCA Nashville & Middle Tennessee

Shan Foster has served as the MEND Director since spring 2015. Shan graduated from Vanderbilt University with a Bachelor of Science degree in Human and Organizational Development in 2008. During his time at Vanderbilt, Shan was named SEC Men’s Basketball Player of the year and is Vanderbilt University’s all-time leading scorer. Shan was drafted into the NBA in 2008 and was inducted to the Tennessee Hall of Fame in 2009. Recently, Shan was honored as SEC Legend at the 2016 SEC Basketball Tournament. Prior to his work at YWCA, Shan served as Dean of Culture for the Intrepid College Preparatory Charter School, where he now serves on the board of directors.

 

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Kids on the Block and Prevent Child Abuse Tennessee Join Hands

KOB prevents Child Abuse

Kids on the Block joins hands with Prevent Child Abuse Tennessee

Each year, Kids on the Block partners with Prevent Child Abuse Tennessee (PCAT) during  Child Abuse Prevention Month for a community kickoff event to help educate and advocate for child safety. This year, Kids on the Block was honored to host a table of activities alongside several other community organizations advocating child safety.

 

For those parents and educators who were unable to attend the event, we’ve compiled a few helpful tips to remember when teaching your kids about personal safety.

Things to Remember When Teaching Children Personal Safety:

  1. Remind your child they have the power to say “NO!” or “STOP!” if someone is ever doing something to them that creates an uncomfortable feeling. Share examples with your child of how to recognize the “uh-oh” feeling.
  2. Teach your child the difference between “safe secrets” and “unsafe secrets.” Not all secrets are okay to keep. Share examples with your child.  An unsafe secret is not telling your parents when you or someone you know is being hurt or if someone says “Keeps this our little secret or something bad might happen to you” it is important to know that is an unsafe secret. A safe secret would be not telling someone a gift they will be receiving on his or her birthday.
  3. Help your child identify various trusted grown-ups, and encourage them to report any “unsafe secrets” or questions they might have about child abuse. For instance, have them name grown-ups they trust at home, school, and their neighborhood.
  4. Most importantly, tell your children that child abuse is NEVER the fault of the child. Empower them to take ownership of their own bodies, and to openly discuss how to keep themselves safe.

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Smoking is still an issue for our youth.

Smoking is still an issue for our youth.

Smoking: Yes, we’re still talking about it. 

Here’s why, according to the United States Department of Health and Human Services, “Approximately 4.7 million middle and high school students were current tobacco users in 2015″. That’s just far too many young people in our books.

Although tobacco use by adolescents has declined substantially in the past 40 years, nearly one in 17 high school seniors was a daily smoker in 2015 (www.hhs.gov).  Smoking damages nearly every organ in the body. Research also shows that adolescent smokers are more likely to engage in other unhealthy behaviors, such as physical violence, marijuana use, and binge drinking.

We want to make sure our young adults are starting their adult lives in health both physically and mentally. We believe the best way to help our young adults make the best choices is through education.

Sumner County STARS Student Assistance Program Counselors work with their Peer Leaders to facilitate sessions at TAATU, Teens Against Alcohol and Tobacco Use, for middle school students in Sumner County.  TAATU is a prevention program designed to give 6th-grade students information about the health risks and long-term consequences of alcohol and tobacco use. We hope giving youth all the information and tools they need it will help them make smart and healthy decisions.

Listen how our counselors across Middle Tennessee are helping educate our young people about the negative outcomes of smoking and alcohol use.

Parents: Tell us how you’re educating your kids about the risks associated with smoking.

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STARS does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, gender, culture, religion or creed, socioeconomic status, language, age, sexual orientation, or national origin. No one shall be excluded from the participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subject to discrimination under any of STARS’ programs or activities. STARS is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

This agency is funded, in part, by the Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services, the Tennessee Department of Education and by the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth. This project is funded under a grant contract with the State of Tennessee.